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by : 3/3/2010

Women are amazing in so many different ways. For those women who decide to become businesswomen, it can be a frustrating and sometimes discouraging journey. We talk a lot about women supporting women. The dirty little secret is that women also sometimes undermine each other.

Recent research suggests that businesses are less likely to hire women and minorities during tough times. Layoffs lead to disgruntled employees which leads to increased stress which tends to derail effective workplace communication.  It's not terribly surprising that under these circumstances, women will deliberately undercut other women and sabotage their careers. The less we talk about it, the more it will continue happening.

Most women are truly supportive of each other. While this is our greatest strength, we also have issues we need to work on. Have we sent mixed signals? Have we ever looked on when we could have helped? Women are socialized to trust each other. We have a long history of trust with our mothers, our sisters and our friends. We don’t look on other women with skepticism.

For the first time in recent history three generations of women - Baby Boomers, Gen X-ers, and Gen-Y’s - are working under the same roof. For the newest generation of working women, reared on Title VII, the glass ceiling is a relic of a bygone era, as remote and outdated as typewriters.

Many fresh-out-of-school ingènues have had no exposure to the kind of wink-wink sexual harassment endured by women of my generation not so many years ago (pats on the fanny, discussing promotions over "dinner"). As a result, these newbies often see their predecessors as irrationally fixated on harassment in the office.

Because the woman’s movement was so long ago, young women are also naive about the ongoing struggle for respect among men in large corporations.

But let's face it, sometimes we’re our own worst enemies. Have you ever said any of these to yourself:
“I don’t deserve it.”
“I haven’t accomplished anything.”?
“Someone will notice my work if I just work harder.”?
“I really hate talking about money.”

If you said (or thought) any of these things, it’s time to take stock. Women tend not to toot their own horns. And for the most part, women are not socialized to be as aggressive in the workplace as men. Assertive female = Bitch.

Women need to empower themselves to win attention and respect.  To quote author Dr. Susan Jeffers, "Remove those 'I want you to like me' stickers from your forehead and, instead, place them where they truly will do the most good - on your mirror!"

Relationships are central to women’s lives, but in the end, it's all up to you.

One last favorite quote from legendary feminist activist, Gloria Steinem, "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off."


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